Sunday 29 May 2016

Self Love


“Tell me you love me,” I whispered, staring down at my feet.
He paused beside the open door and I could sense his hesitation.
“I love you Sophia... but you know I don’t really like it when you ask me to say it.”
Then he cupped my tear-stained face in his hands and kissed my lips gently.
“Sophia, I’ll never leave you.”

***
I blinked and forced myself to focus on the wedding proceedings. I should not have agreed to be Tomi’s chief bridesmaid. Not now. Not when I still had the band-aid on my heart. Plastic smiles look horrible in pictures and Tomi would never forgive me for ruining her wedding.
So I tried. I tried to focus on happier times.
But I could not remember any. The events of the past few months had erased them all.
We were going to live happily ever after, we had planned the wedding and my head was firmly the clouds.
“This is it; this is my dream man,” I’d thought, firmly pushing the niggling doubts that occasionally arose to the back of my mind.
Like the time you said you don’t like palm oil jollof rice.
The time you said you prefer weaves and wigs to natural hair.
The other time you said you like it when women wear makeup and high heels.
The day you suggested I dress a certain type of way; sleek not bohemian.
How you always felt your opinions were superior to mine, even when the opinions were about me...
But my palm-oil-jollof-loving-natural-hair-minimum-makeup-bohemian-dress-wearing self shrugged. Marriage is about compromises and surely all these were not too much to sacrifice for love. Surely there are far worse things than living without okpei infused palm oil jollof cooked with dry fish and beef. Being single, for example.
So I stayed.
I bought books, fixed a weave, wore shoes that made my feet hurt, and lost whatever belief I had in myself.
My voice, which I had only just begun to hear, was subdued. Again.
But you meant well. You wanted the best for me. I wasn’t living. You were teaching me.
So I stayed.
Then you left.

***
My phone vibrated.
“Sophia for goodness sakes give Tomi a handkerchief and adjust her dress. For once, take your job seriously.”
I bristled. The text was from Tomi’s younger sister, Tolu, who still had not forgiven me for usurping her as chief bridesmaid.
Lesson learnt, Tolu. Lesson learnt.
I hurriedly gave Tomi the handkerchief, adjusted her dress and even gave her a glass of water. She looked at me worriedly and I said a quick thank you to God for waterproof mascara.
I took my mirror out of my bag to check my face just to make sure my makeup was still intact.
Face, eyebrows, lips were still on fleek.
But beneath the layers, I could see the hurt little girl.
And I hear her, for the first time in months...
“Tell me you love me,” she says, in a tiny little voice.
I smile ruefully and wipe the tears that fall unbidden.
“I love you Sophia.”


 Image source: http://ilovemyself.net/25-daily-affirmations-to-improve-self-esteem/

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